Hello, you! Come in and sit down.
I haven’t got much done in my Literary Corner this week but there is a good reason.
I have been sorting out my writing cupboard to see if there’s anything worth re-hashing and updating.
DON’T MOVE THEM !!
Sit over there and for gawd’s sake, try not to disrupt my system. It’s a bit technical.
Actually, before you do – Could you pop through to the kitchen and do the honours?
You haven’t brought a sword? Oh,Very funny!
I mean make us a hot beverage – not bestow a Knighthood.
I’m trapped between 1979 and 1991 and my legs don’t like parting like they used to.
All you need to do is step over the first three piles of multi-coloured cardboard files without mixing up the blue and yellows and lift those loose A4 notes onto the table.
There you go. Ooh, you’ve got no trouble swinging your legs over have you!
HEY! Do you remember when you won the ‘Friendliest Girl on Friday’ award?
I don’t know what triggered that memory.
What now? Well, You just need to move the green box files to the right to reach the kettle but NOT enough to let them touch the wall. The damp’s shocking. Careful when you switch on.
Did it? Oh well, I did warn you it was damp out there.
Shocked? Were you? Me, too. Remember all that money they said I had to pay for a damp course?
Total waste of time – the guy never taught me a thing.
Keep your hands dry and put any notes you disturbed when you jumped back on the right coloured piles. No harm done. The trip switch is to your right.
… … Ooh, now look at this for a story – I remember writing this.
JESUS !! You made me jump !!
I forgot you were here. I was busy reading this brilliant story I wrote.
Why are you Yelling “HERE WE ARE!”
Here the bloody hell WHO are?
OH! Just you and the drinks.
Where can you put what?
Well, I ASSUMED you would use the tray so you could bring the drinks, biscuits, milk, cold water, sugar, sweeteners and spoons all in the one go and put the tray in the space this side of the table left by the loose notes. It’s not hard to plan ahead.
Honestly ! You amaze me.
I love you popping in uninvited and demanding hospitality.
I truly have no problem with your lack of thought for others, but I really do think you need to be a tiny bit more organised.
Me? I am – Just look at my colour coded system.
Ooh, Do you remember when I wrote a colour coded system for the shared septic tank back in the Village days? I must look into it.
Well, What’s funny about that?
You do have a strange sense of humour, I must say.
Sit down and pour the drinks.
NOT THERE !!
Well, That’s that spilled everywhere.You really are as jumpy as ever. There’s tissues on the side.
Have you thought about nerve pills?
I jumped earlier? Well, of course I did.
In my defence. You WERE aware of me in full view reading one of my masterpieces and I had forgotten you had invited yourself round.
Luckily I have all that pile saved on a PC disc or this whole evening’s streamlining towards a paperless society would have just been ruined.
Don’t knock over those piles of “Written in The 80’s – Maybe Reuse?”
I’m just about to get to them …